you can tell it's been ridiculously hot when 25 degrees feels refreshing and and this morning's twenty was downright cool to the point of goosebumps. i'm kind of useless at these temps. i try to do some yard work before noon, but then i have to move indoors for the hotter hours. i thought it would be great for design work but lately i'm not very happy with what i make. i get ideas so brilliant they scare me, but i don't know if my plans are beyond my capabilities or if i'm just lacking confidence, in the end i don't actually make anything beyond sketches and scribbles in notebooks and bits of paper.
i've hit a big wall with the shop, didn't expect it so soon. i fell ill for a few days after first starting and haven't been able to pick up the enthusiasm since to produce anything worthwhile. my head is reeling with things to do but outside of my skull the reality is that none of my accumulated materials match these fancy plans. i just don't want to work with what i've got, which was supposed to be exactly the point. and once again i'm faced with the dilemma of no work space. there's nowhere to really spread everything out and get a feel of what might be possible.
i just don't know how other people juggle relationships and babies and jobs and gardening and animal husbandry and whatnot, when i struggle with the simplest chores every day. i've got nothing but time but somehow i manage to throw it all away all the livelong day.
this is the most beautiful insect i know, but i don't actually know what it is. i started noticing them around a few years ago, buzzing about in their bright, iridescent jewel colours. they seem quite harmless but i wouldn't be surprised if they were actually eating up the house or something. they seem to hang near old wood a lot.
our peonies are on their last legs but the martagon lily has arrived to rescue the flowerbed. we used to have loads but then one year i dug a lot of stuff up and they didn't appreciate being harassed, so only one remains in the bed and one grows sulkingly in the ditch by the gate. the finnish name is varjolilja, shadow lily, and they are very modest with their requirements. 'do not disturb' seems to be the only one.
gooseberries are getting freckles before blushing completely. they are still very sour but i can't resist taking a bite every once in a while. i think i'm going to try fermenting them raw, similar to japanese ume plums, just to see what happens. and to have something to blog about.
