today has flown by with me deep in the sofa with my laptop on. it started when i ordered some postcards and stickers for my shop from moo, and dragged on while i made some new banners and everything went glitch, glitch, glitch... oh, technology, how much easier you don't make my life...

i made my new etsy and shop blog banners a bit rustic, and they're not really what i have in mind for the brand, but they fit what's for sale at the moment and somehow this cohesion feels right just now. for the winter and spring i will move more towards simplicity and cleaner lines, but this needs to brew. i will attend a five-week entrepeneurship course in october, which will take up a lot of my mental energy, but hopefully it will give me crystal clear ideas as well.

i have been posting nothing but pictures of sleeping rats on my instagram lately. today i've had them for nine weeks, and i am both amazed that it has been that long, and also that it's only been nine weeks, because it kind of feels like they've been here always. i am completely smitten. they are such great characters and so different from each other that they make an interesting pair... they are old boys already but often such babies that i can only laugh.

last night i had a bit of a breakthrough with the shy one. he has a thing with hands and being picked up, and i've been balancing between acclimatizing him and respecting his boundaries. he is originally from a pet shop so there's no knowing just what it is he fears and why. i gave him bach flower remedy drops for childhood trauma, and it's been interesting to observe how he is responding and working through his issues. he seems to get flashbacks or regressions in waves, where he has very fearful days on occasion and then gets a bit better each time. yesterday he got so excited over my food and trying to steal it from the plate, that he forgot to be shy, and after eating a bit of spicy broccoli and mushroom (a no-no for a rat's diet, really, but i thought a little bit won't hurt...) on the couch, both of them went into an umami haze of some sort.

paroni (that's the shy one) climbed on my lap and wanted to be scratched like it was nothing out of the ordinary, and even let me stroke him with my full palm from the tip of his nose to the furry little bum. basu (the greedy one) flopped on his side by my thigh and fell asleep. that was a first, too. i wonder if it had anything to do with how euphorically happy i was feeling after finding a new bit of paradise in the woods earlier... i just felt so content with them finally being both together with me like that, just chillin' like.

this evening, after their tuna dinner, i gave basu a good grooming, as usual. later paroni sort of wandered in for one as well. i was crouched over him so he felt safe like in a cave,  and a strange thing happened when i gave him a massage. the energy shifted from his body to mine, and i felt a tense sensation which then shivered away. paroni looked a lot more relaxed after that, and a bit perplexed. usually i don't think that things happen for a specific reason, but it seems that these guys came into my life so i can learn more about energies and healing, which is something that has always been a part of my life but kind of on the side...

i knew all along that rats are intelligent and amazing, but still i am awestruck on a daily basis with them.

on a completely different note, this song has been in my head all day long:

i have been in love with etsy since 2006. in an online world full of ugly, it was a safe haven of visual delight. yesterday the 'new and improved' home page rolled over all my reasons to peruse for pleasure. i never had any use for my activity feed (do i really need to be informed i just favourited something? i know, i did...) and never followed any users, nor do i care to. now that is all i get?

they say it will be a more customized experience, but for me customization means i get a say in what's what, you know, as a customer... now i just feel manipulated and bewildered with the bombardment of haphazard, unpleasant and useless images. call me autistic and oversensitive (for i surely do) but that is a harrowing experience and one i never ever expected from etsy.

from now on i will only shop for what i need, which is not much, because the days of discovering things i never thought to think of in those carefully curated treasuries are over. they were not a 100% to my liking all the time, of course not, but often sparked an interest in something new, prompting a search, sometimes a purchase. most importantly, the landing page was inviting, calm and informative. i don't even know what to call the jumble of a mess i now enter, but it makes me want to leave immediately.

i wanted a shop of my own in there for so long, and was finally able to open one earlier this year, so i'm too invested in starting that out to pack up and leave now, but a big part of me feels like letting my listings just expire while looking for alternative options. as a shopper, they kind of lost me; as a seller i will hang in there and see if things will improve at all with all the disgruntled feedback they are getting.

the spirit of etsy as i have felt it seems to have disappeared with the changes, maybe it has been a long time coming. money talks of course, and the masses have won again. the sense of community is replaced by an empty room full of strangers' junk. it's a profound loss for me and many like-minded etsians, but it might be a good thing... more time offline maybe, less money spent? i'm just afraid it will be less money earned as well.

as a bonus bummer, the new firefox update replaced my custom web font with regular ugly, so now i feel doubly cheated and cranky every time i use the internet.

the flattest spider lives on our trash bin, fitting perfectly between the lid and the rim. still, i'm always terrified of squashing it.

things are kind of vile in the woods at the moment. since all the mushrooms emerged on one go, they are now rotting away en masse as well, and some spots reek like a forgotten abattoir. good excuse to stay away for a while. although there are still very good bilberries and loads of lingonberries to pick.

it's supposed to get colder over the weekend. i don't know if i'm ready for that yet. my tomatoes and pumpkins certainly aren't.

macrolepiota procera

sometime during the past couple of weeks i changed from outdoorsy girl back to under-the-blanket-on-the-sofa girl. i think i had a bug or two, i've been feeling cold even though the weather has been balmy, sneezy and sleepy, and i had two headache-on-the-verge-of-migraine days withing a week, the other one last night. luckily i had the sense to look up some reflexology points and the pain subsided before i went to sleep.

today i put on too many clothes and braved the drizzly outdoors, heading for the seashore. it was really warm, actually. so many mushrooms all around, but i only brought home two parasols. they were too young and bell-shaped (boob-shaped, actually, perky nipples and all) to be made into steaks so i just chopped and fried them with an egg and some canned beans for lunch.

i'm kind of fed up with mushrooms right now. there, i said it. i'm not a big fan of seasons like this, when you can't take two steps in the woods without tripping on a porcini or whatnot. i like the thrill of the hunt, the wandering and wondering. i haven't even been that deep in the woods this fall, my basked getting full and heavy almost as soon as i enter. where's the fun in that?

i've hardly even picked any berries, which would be the more nutritious and uselful bounty to harvest. from now on i think i must only allow mushrooms in my basket in quantities i can eat straight away... or at least fit in the dehydrator in one go (funnel chanterelles, once they start to crowd the forest floor). maybe i'll make some preserves and pickles, too... see, they take over my brain, the fungi! right now i am truly overwhelmed.

i really just need time to go slower. summer is over and i look at my big plans, some of which i haven't even started yet. the compost is unfinished. i have not dried any nettle again, after swearing i would not repeat the same mistake twice. there is no mini greenhouse for the tomatoes that are still green or in bloom only. i could go on and on. not sure what i've actually done. i've felt so busy all the time, but mostly i've just been trying to survive either the heat or stress of being behind on everything. i need so much time to process things and just be. sleep does not do that for me, unfortunately. daydreaming is a must.

young agaric of some kind

now the evening is looking very nice, the sun is shining again, but there are also mountains of clouds above the treetops. i'm just going to stay on the sofa for one more night, stuff my face with the blackberry tart i made and watch whatever may be on tv. or maybe read the book on telepathy i lent from the library. i'll do nothing useful. tomorrow, maybe...