why am i so into flowers these days? i never used to be. my garden was supposed to be full of herbs and vegetables, nothing more. now i'm scheming a peony theft from an abandoned cottage garden and eyeing up aubergine-hued aquilegias by the road for collecting the seeds later. and even though moving prevented starting a nursery in the spring, i have a remarkable collection of seed packets, and not all of them are for the kitchen garden, far from it.
i keep dreaming of people i used to know, and getting stabbed. not by the people i used to know, though, but oprah, for example. today i turned the TV on to her show. it was about nuns in ann arbor. the odd thing about dying in dreams, for me, is that no one realizes and it's so difficult to not breathe and blink. and it's not like i'm faking death, that's just what it's like. real and unreal all at once.
that's what my life is like, too. no one seems to notice i've been dead for a long time already. i don't know what exactly i'm hanging around for.
