the pineaway

more and more snow. i am torn inside. part of me wants the winter to go on and on, another has had enough. the gardener in me longs for spring but my hurt and broken heart is terrified.

i have five weeks left in this place, weeks to be spent well, packing, making use of the space while i have it... cutting patterns and sewing would be so good. but i've been sick in bed most days, feeling weak, stressed out and dizzy. the neighbours from hell aren't helping. they've begun smoking indoors and the smell lingers into my bathroom. my towels stink. on monday it triggered another migraine-ish, eye-crooking and nauseating headache that kept me from my ceramics class and finishing the pieces i have made for the raku weekend. i'm well pissed off. and too scared to complain. they're that sort of lot, loud and violent.

my brother's girlfriend brought me a big box of harem's delight from turkey. pistachio ones... mmm. i am not to open this box anytime soon. i scarfed down so much last week. she also gave me a pair of white knee-high socks with big bows on. the bows might come off, though... but for some reason they make me happy a little. like i should put them on and go buy macaroons.

speaking of socks, the whole thing about only wearing the silky toe socks to bed has gone out the window. i haven't taken them off except to wash. i need another pair... many pairs...

my project for april is to eat everything. i'm like a squirrel the way i store sundries and then forget about them. today we ate falafel from a mix and a jar of indian tomato sauce. check. i ought to list everything and plan some meals. i also noticed there's peanut butter from whole foods in ann arbor still in the fridge. three years old. which makes the unopened seedless raspberry jam even more past it. i wish i was, too.