for the second time in 25 years, i met another person in the forest. well, two. while i was making my way towards the cranberry bog, i heard a car go by, and soon saw an older couple with buckets emerge from the bushes. i went over to say hi (which is not necessarily correct finnish forest behavior, but i just had to see to believe) and the woman said they were looking for cranberries... oh damn.
at first they went a bit farther, away from me, after i'd quite blatantly staked my claim by marching right into the bog (while politely chit-chatting) but soon they were in the same puddle as me, which seemed a bit rude and invasive. but they filled their buckets and left before me and i topped my basket soon after, and still there was plenty left for everyone. although i hope there are no more rivals. tomorrow i'm going early...
even though the couple was nice enough, i was stressed out by the company of strangers, tense and picking the berries in a rush. then, left on my own, all of a sudden it was a joy to be there and all my senses opened up. a small animal searching for food, that's really all i need to be. the spaghnum moss sucked at my boots and water flowed into footprints behind me. the sour, pleasant fragrance of the mire began to register in my brain. the water felt warm to dip my fingers into, but i had to stay aware not to get my butt wet as well, as i hunkered my way through. i was right in my element.
i'm trying to focus on enjoying and appreciating how lucky i am, to be able to do what i want. for this little while... i push aside the worry and fear and frustration, but like bogwater, it flows back into its place, filling the gaps and pooling inside my skull. these are not the best years of my life. yet some of these days have been among the best of days.
