18 February 2011


hmm... some decorations still linger from the holidays. somewhere, i have more pinecones, beautiful gray ones, weathered and small. found in the woods last fall. no idea where. deep in some pocket? most likely.

some friday night drama is playing out in front of the building. that's what separates weekends from regular days for me. drunken noise.

dinner was two eggs and half a steamed broccoli. if that sounds pathetic, let me clarify by saying it was the most nutritious thing i've had in weeks, besides rhubarb yoghurt with raspberries and pecan nuts, my breakfast staple. i stayed in bed all day, playing on the computer, watching programs. i keep procrastinating mainly because there is nothing that needs to be done today on any given day. so i keep putting things off until tomorrow...

THINGS I SHOULD DO
  • ask my optician about the cost of fitting lenses into frames bought elsewhere
  • have skates sharpened
  • reserve laundry room
  • do the dishes (seriously)
  • clear up the messes i've made on every surface available
  • vacuum glass shards from the balcony before i forget they're there
  • actually donate the donation bags
  • purge my closet more
  • go to the post office
  • find a home
  • get well soon
i've got to a point where nothing (much) is undoubtedly junk, but i definitely don't want this much stuff. it's hard to determine, one by one, which thing to toss and which to keep. who am i? who do i want to be? will i ever use it? regret getting rid of it? as much as i love organizing, it's overwhelming when it gets personal...

it would be easier to move loved things into a perfect home and then sieve out the useful from the remains. or to have more space. it's not like i'm going for ascetic minimalism here. ought to, but won't.

i don't see a solution. i don't know what to do. other than think about this another day...