the winter solstice yesterday was probably the best ever. it snowed. plenty. instant proper winter! i'm elated, if not a bit exhausted from all the sudden shoveling of the fluffy stuff, both last night and first thing this morning. i would love it if the temps didn't rise above zero again until march. this is it!

i took this photo of the willow trees in the neighbourhood, because i'm not sure if they are destined to survive the building of the bike lane or not. i will miss them if they go, but am still hoping their value has been noted.

overnight, an image of an owl had appeared on the rowan tree outside the kitchen window. i wish it would attract a real one, because voles are becoming a nuisance again. i can't sleep with them running about in the night, and for some reason they don't seem to be bothered by the rat scent at all anymore. perhaps because basu is pretty much hibernating now, all he does is sleep.

my door decoration from spring had started to look really haggard, so i tried to make it more seasonal by adding pine cones. i can't say i'm particularly pleased with the result, but it probably has reckless, rustic charm? much like the house itself these days. it's a work in progress, albeit a halted progress for now. notice the optimistic yard furniture below. i don't think anyone's going to be dining on it for a while...

feeling like a champ after baking and icing a few trays of gluten free gingerbread. i used pre-made, store-bought dough and icing, just to get something done. the dough is tasty and easy to roll, and i really should have taken both of the two packages left at the second supermarket i went to. actually, i popped in the first one just to be sure to get the dough and they were all out! of course i came out with a bunch of other stuff not on the shopping list... as one does.

i need to make a note somewhere because i never remember to roll this stuff thin enough and end up with puffed up gingerbread. luckily i like 'em chunky and chewy. they could use a bit more colour, although they don't brown as much as regular ones anyway.

just before 6 AM this morning, i was awoken by small hands in my hair and wondered, for a split second, how on earth the rat had managed to get out of his cage. then i realized the hands were very, very tiny, and that it was déjà vu from some years back, when i slept on a mattress on the floor and a vole was combing through. sure enough, there was the same pitter-patter of puny paws escaping when i moved my head. i wonder whether it's a third one or the same, come back from the forest twice... the voles aren't that bad compared to mice, but i worry about basu catching some disease. i've been a little on edge since paroni died, and now every little sneeze makes my heart skip a beat.

i'm still undecided whether to get another rat or not. there are so many variables to take into consideration, starting with the possibility of basu not even accepting a newcomer. then i might have to adopt a third rat to keep that one company, and i really wasn't planning on having any more in the first place. rats are lovely but the heartbreak of losing them is too much all too soon. yet i keep checking pictures of baby rats (never a good idea) on breeders' websites and thinking that it might be all right. i've got the big cage and all. if i drove a car and it was easier to manage the logistics of everything, then maybe...

in an ideal world we would get another lonely old boy, they'd become tight friends and die peacefully in their sleep at the same time, at an awesomely old age. santa, if you read this, that is my wish.

sparse sprinklings of snow had appeared overnight. yay. that's a a sarcastic yay, by the way. i want to wake up to a proper winter wonderland, and soon! the only upside to this rainy december is the extended mushrooming season. a couple of funnel chanterelles stood firm still, and conifer tufts and velvet shanks are really starting to come out. also, chards and rockets are eking it out in the garden, so they joined a hearty miso and noodle soup with seaweeds for lunch.

our house has been one of grieving this week, on monday we lost the older of the rats, paroni tapiiri. even though i only knew him for four months, i was devastated. he was getting old, but still it was too soon. he himself certainly had no plans of letting the flame go out, but in the end, respiratory problems got too severe. i miss him so much already, and so does basu baageli. i was, still am a little, worried about how he will cope with the situation, but he doesn't seem too depressed now. he enjoys food and cuddles as before, maybe sleeps a little more but then he already was a great napper. i think i feel worse about him being a lone rat than him. the sense of someone curly-whiskered missing from the daily action is so acute.

a little vole, so small he was more like a round ball of brown fur, figured he was up to living in a house with just one rat left, and started running about in the night. first i just threw him out the door, but last night he was in the trap again, so i put him in a bigger box to wait for the morning, with some sesame seeds to snack on, and took him into the woods after my late breakfast (sleep deprivation has been catching up). basu would have eaten the thing, i have no doubt. poor little critter, seemed so trusting and guileless. i hope he found a place to keep them little toes warm and dry out there. it is raining again.

...and so november has all but rained on by, so soon, so suddenly. next time i blink it will be the new year, no doubt. i have sort of given myself permission to not even try and achieve anything for the rest of the year. little everyday things are challenging enough these days. not that i'm depressed or anything, i just don't have the energy to work on all my brilliant ideas.

it has been dark and dull here, though. two snowy weekends but it has melted away by monday both times. harvesting and foraging has dwindled down, but i still get chards from my garden boat and there are occasional mushrooms in the woods, funnel chanterelles and velvet shanks mostly. it has not been great for photography, but i should be getting a new camera for my birthday (i turned 35 earlier this month) so that might help a bit.

the older one of my rats has been sick lately, last weekend i was sure he was done for, but he pulled through a nasty sounding, sudden pneumonia and started to pick up, so i got him a hefty course of antibiotics at the vet instead of a ticket to the other side... twice a day we wrestle with the feeding syringe, this time. three more doses to go. i know he's not getting any younger, or much healthier, (his lung capacity is already compromised) but as long as there's a spark in his eyes, i want him around. well, both of them of course. they sleep a lot since it's dark and cold now, but when it comes to food and treats, there's plenty of ratty spirit present.

i finally got them a bigger cage yesterday, but as i'm typing this, they are both asleep in the old, tiny one, even though there is nothing but woodchip at the bottom. it's their home, so i won't keep them from it, but the plan is to have them spend the nights in the new cage, as well as any time i might be away for a little while, so they have room to roam unsupervised. basu already did sleep in there last night, but wheezy old paroni chose the familiar option. he's more like that, as am i, not fond of things changing so much.

my morning walk was interrupted today by a troupe of neon orange moose hunters, so i turned back mid-way. didn't really fancy running into a panicky, giant animal, nor seeing one get shot. just my luck, though, the one day i actually managed to head on out right after the first chores of the day, and the weather was lovely, too, mild with a peek at the blue sky. i heard the barking dogs getting nearer and the one gunshot, so i'm assuming it was a successful hunt. i feel sadness and compassion for the animal, but at the same time i have to respect the fact that this is how my people have lived throughout the centuries in this wilderness. even though i'm a vegetarian, my genes come from moosemeat-fed bodies. however, our plot will always remain a safe haven for game, as long as i've got any say in it.

my five-week entrepeneurship course ends tomorrow, and for a business presentation i made this mood clip for the sylvi taimi brand, or rather an imaginary collection, since i haven't had the energy to make it real. november is far from over, though, so there might be some kaamostime items in the shop later... i'm publishing this a day early for all of you who peek into the pineaway.

kaamos is a finnish word of course, it means the time when sun doesn't rise in winter, but it is generally used to describe the overall darkness of the season as well. for me it is a time of peace and quiet, warm blankets and woodsmoke, when every glimmer of light is a rare, precious gem. it also means lots of sleep.

i'm anxiously waiting for snow today. anxiously as in i fear it won't come. the weather charts claim it's coming down but not a flake here yet. not even rain. nothing but anticipation and a dirty white sky.

maybe i shouldn't even post this because he probably wasn't feeling so grand after stealing and eating a lump of butter the size of his own head, but this blurry photo of my furry boy basu baageli keeps on cracking me up after many weeks. also, he looks like an inuit carving of some sort, and i love those.

this shot feels like a natural pair for the first one. the rats fell ill some time ago and i had to give them antibiotics. at first paroni tapiiri liked it so much he began to bite the plastic syringe when the meds ran out, but that didn't last... anyone who's had to de-worm a cat knows it can be challenging. rats have a really tiny mouth but they are freakishly strong, much like toddlers. i'm glad those eleven days of wrestling and spitting are long gone. (oddly enough, both of them immediately returned to me for comfort after administration.)

today was warm and foggy, a strange combination, especially this time of year. ideal for foraging, though. i found many mushrooms i couldn't identify, even back at home with all my books. one in particular had a really intense, almost perfume-like, fruity scent but it was so past its prime there was no telling what the identifying features might have been, and i didn't want to put it in my basket to mess all the funnel chanterelles up. my best guess is albatrellus confluens, but they usually form clusters and this was singular. i've never smelled one so strong before, either.

two things brewing in my mind right now above all else are a desire to study mycology and the different properties of mushrooms more 'officially', and a rekindled idea of living in ireland for a while, maybe even in a big city like cork. the latter especially surprises me, but the fact is, i need to move away for a while at least once the new cycling lane construction begins. (it will cut through a great chunk of my familiar surroundings and i just know it will be too stressful and noisy for me, so i want to get far away from all that.) to combine the two would be ideal... i would also love to live on a small island somewhere on the west coast, with nothing to do but paint and write, for once. dreams, dreams...

don't ask me what happened to october, i have absolutely no idea. i was probably calculating imaginary taxes and pensions and budgets, the entrepeneurship course has been intense, and quite frankly a bit of a rollercoaster ride. still a week left, but the rest of november will be spent mulling it over, i presume.

it's not often that i advertise on this here blog, but right now one of my dearest, oldest friends needs your help to release a long-awaited record, so if you've ever had dreams of becoming a music mogul, now's the time!

behind this link is your opportunity to become a dead girl diamonds financier through crowdsourcing. it's really easy and you don't even have to register unless you want to. there are several options to choose from, so please check if there is one that suits your preference. it's a finnish band but for supporters from abroad there is a convenient album download option, too!

so, here we are in november already. there has been no snow on the ground yet, which is a little unusual. one flurry appeared out of nowhere a couple weeks ago, but it all melted upon touchdown. i bought cotton wool to put between the window panes to keep the draught at bay, but if the winter turns out to be skimpy on the snow, it'll look lovely, too.

today has flown by with me deep in the sofa with my laptop on. it started when i ordered some postcards and stickers for my shop from moo, and dragged on while i made some new banners and everything went glitch, glitch, glitch... oh, technology, how much easier you don't make my life...

i made my new etsy and shop blog banners a bit rustic, and they're not really what i have in mind for the brand, but they fit what's for sale at the moment and somehow this cohesion feels right just now. for the winter and spring i will move more towards simplicity and cleaner lines, but this needs to brew. i will attend a five-week entrepeneurship course in october, which will take up a lot of my mental energy, but hopefully it will give me crystal clear ideas as well.

i have been posting nothing but pictures of sleeping rats on my instagram lately. today i've had them for nine weeks, and i am both amazed that it has been that long, and also that it's only been nine weeks, because it kind of feels like they've been here always. i am completely smitten. they are such great characters and so different from each other that they make an interesting pair... they are old boys already but often such babies that i can only laugh.

last night i had a bit of a breakthrough with the shy one. he has a thing with hands and being picked up, and i've been balancing between acclimatizing him and respecting his boundaries. he is originally from a pet shop so there's no knowing just what it is he fears and why. i gave him bach flower remedy drops for childhood trauma, and it's been interesting to observe how he is responding and working through his issues. he seems to get flashbacks or regressions in waves, where he has very fearful days on occasion and then gets a bit better each time. yesterday he got so excited over my food and trying to steal it from the plate, that he forgot to be shy, and after eating a bit of spicy broccoli and mushroom (a no-no for a rat's diet, really, but i thought a little bit won't hurt...) on the couch, both of them went into an umami haze of some sort.

paroni (that's the shy one) climbed on my lap and wanted to be scratched like it was nothing out of the ordinary, and even let me stroke him with my full palm from the tip of his nose to the furry little bum. basu (the greedy one) flopped on his side by my thigh and fell asleep. that was a first, too. i wonder if it had anything to do with how euphorically happy i was feeling after finding a new bit of paradise in the woods earlier... i just felt so content with them finally being both together with me like that, just chillin' like.

this evening, after their tuna dinner, i gave basu a good grooming, as usual. later paroni sort of wandered in for one as well. i was crouched over him so he felt safe like in a cave,  and a strange thing happened when i gave him a massage. the energy shifted from his body to mine, and i felt a tense sensation which then shivered away. paroni looked a lot more relaxed after that, and a bit perplexed. usually i don't think that things happen for a specific reason, but it seems that these guys came into my life so i can learn more about energies and healing, which is something that has always been a part of my life but kind of on the side...

i knew all along that rats are intelligent and amazing, but still i am awestruck on a daily basis with them.

on a completely different note, this song has been in my head all day long:

i have been in love with etsy since 2006. in an online world full of ugly, it was a safe haven of visual delight. yesterday the 'new and improved' home page rolled over all my reasons to peruse for pleasure. i never had any use for my activity feed (do i really need to be informed i just favourited something? i know, i did...) and never followed any users, nor do i care to. now that is all i get?

they say it will be a more customized experience, but for me customization means i get a say in what's what, you know, as a customer... now i just feel manipulated and bewildered with the bombardment of haphazard, unpleasant and useless images. call me autistic and oversensitive (for i surely do) but that is a harrowing experience and one i never ever expected from etsy.

from now on i will only shop for what i need, which is not much, because the days of discovering things i never thought to think of in those carefully curated treasuries are over. they were not a 100% to my liking all the time, of course not, but often sparked an interest in something new, prompting a search, sometimes a purchase. most importantly, the landing page was inviting, calm and informative. i don't even know what to call the jumble of a mess i now enter, but it makes me want to leave immediately.

i wanted a shop of my own in there for so long, and was finally able to open one earlier this year, so i'm too invested in starting that out to pack up and leave now, but a big part of me feels like letting my listings just expire while looking for alternative options. as a shopper, they kind of lost me; as a seller i will hang in there and see if things will improve at all with all the disgruntled feedback they are getting.

the spirit of etsy as i have felt it seems to have disappeared with the changes, maybe it has been a long time coming. money talks of course, and the masses have won again. the sense of community is replaced by an empty room full of strangers' junk. it's a profound loss for me and many like-minded etsians, but it might be a good thing... more time offline maybe, less money spent? i'm just afraid it will be less money earned as well.

as a bonus bummer, the new firefox update replaced my custom web font with regular ugly, so now i feel doubly cheated and cranky every time i use the internet.

the flattest spider lives on our trash bin, fitting perfectly between the lid and the rim. still, i'm always terrified of squashing it.

things are kind of vile in the woods at the moment. since all the mushrooms emerged on one go, they are now rotting away en masse as well, and some spots reek like a forgotten abattoir. good excuse to stay away for a while. although there are still very good bilberries and loads of lingonberries to pick.

it's supposed to get colder over the weekend. i don't know if i'm ready for that yet. my tomatoes and pumpkins certainly aren't.

macrolepiota procera

sometime during the past couple of weeks i changed from outdoorsy girl back to under-the-blanket-on-the-sofa girl. i think i had a bug or two, i've been feeling cold even though the weather has been balmy, sneezy and sleepy, and i had two headache-on-the-verge-of-migraine days withing a week, the other one last night. luckily i had the sense to look up some reflexology points and the pain subsided before i went to sleep.

today i put on too many clothes and braved the drizzly outdoors, heading for the seashore. it was really warm, actually. so many mushrooms all around, but i only brought home two parasols. they were too young and bell-shaped (boob-shaped, actually, perky nipples and all) to be made into steaks so i just chopped and fried them with an egg and some canned beans for lunch.

i'm kind of fed up with mushrooms right now. there, i said it. i'm not a big fan of seasons like this, when you can't take two steps in the woods without tripping on a porcini or whatnot. i like the thrill of the hunt, the wandering and wondering. i haven't even been that deep in the woods this fall, my basked getting full and heavy almost as soon as i enter. where's the fun in that?

i've hardly even picked any berries, which would be the more nutritious and uselful bounty to harvest. from now on i think i must only allow mushrooms in my basket in quantities i can eat straight away... or at least fit in the dehydrator in one go (funnel chanterelles, once they start to crowd the forest floor). maybe i'll make some preserves and pickles, too... see, they take over my brain, the fungi! right now i am truly overwhelmed.

i really just need time to go slower. summer is over and i look at my big plans, some of which i haven't even started yet. the compost is unfinished. i have not dried any nettle again, after swearing i would not repeat the same mistake twice. there is no mini greenhouse for the tomatoes that are still green or in bloom only. i could go on and on. not sure what i've actually done. i've felt so busy all the time, but mostly i've just been trying to survive either the heat or stress of being behind on everything. i need so much time to process things and just be. sleep does not do that for me, unfortunately. daydreaming is a must.

young agaric of some kind

now the evening is looking very nice, the sun is shining again, but there are also mountains of clouds above the treetops. i'm just going to stay on the sofa for one more night, stuff my face with the blackberry tart i made and watch whatever may be on tv. or maybe read the book on telepathy i lent from the library. i'll do nothing useful. tomorrow, maybe...

kinsale, back then...

earlier in the evening the air was full of ireland. it must have been the combination of rain, wind from the sea and smoke from the trash pyres, and maybe even the felted hat i put on when fetching the mail. for a moment i looked only at my feet and felt exactly like i was in kinsale again. a longing to be there burst out of my heart and flooded my guts, i haven't felt it so strongly in a long, long time.

strange things, scents.

there is no disputing the change of season once the fly agarics start to emerge. there is also no question whether or not this is the best porcini season ever, for me at least. i've never carried home baskets as heavy. yesterday i picked over two kilos of the porcinis alone, plus all the other boletes and russulas. today's haul must have been over a kilo of porcini, and then other mushrooms on top of that.

there are years when i will take the most infested, maggot-ridden porcini, and certainly something like above. this year i have no trouble thinking "oh well, it belongs to someone else already" and moving on to filling my basket with the perfect, budding ones.

after i took the previous photo, i looked down to my feet and saw one just like that. they don't look like much but there is the big, fat stem beneath the surface...

i also picked some bog bilberries, which are huge this year, as well as lingonberry, bilberry and crowberry. there, in my favourite bog, i spotted one raw cranberry in total, it seems like that harvest is lost. the dry spell was too much, which is a shame because there were more rawlings in the spring than i remember even seeing before. but lingonberries are making up for it, i just have to peel myself from the mushrooms one day and wield the picker a little.

i took some photos to show where, for example, i have spotted porcinis in the past few days. you can pretend to be mushroom-hunting now...

(the third one may be tricky. it's smack middle in the photo, and x literally marks the spot.)

the rain has really roused up the mushrooms these past days but in doing so diluted the thrill of the chase somewhat. so many little russulas and boletes that today i only picked the caps off the latter to keep my basket from becoming too heavy. except ceps, of course, they are too delicious all over to waste any. and there are so many popping up now that the coming days will be a race against maggots and larvae and blight.

freezer is almost full already and it's only august. have to start canning and keep on dehydrating. so much to do, so little focused energy...

couldn't get nice and artsy photos of my hauls so i just made them garish and effect-y instead.

wednesday

thursday

the day before yesterday the season shifted. i could feel it within, autumn starting to fall. also, a slight fragrance in the air, the light a little moodier, and most importantly the temperature cooler, even though technically it's still very very warm.

i sowed new kinds of poppies this year, and most of them didn't make it through the cold june followed by the oven-like july, but the peony-petaled black ones are opening up, all two of them, and i also found some miniature ones in the bud, don't know which ones they are but they could go in the vase in a dollhouse.

my friends' 14-year-old daughter spent last weekend here. it was fun, we went to the woods, swimming and crawled through a cave under a boulder. she had a school project, to identify and photograph plants herbarium-style, and it was all i could do not to take over... kind of jealous i was, we never did it in school and i would have totally aced the task! so, i tried to be helpful but at the same time urge her to do the work. she was great company but i could never be a parent, kids need too much attention and feeding... but it's a kind of luxury to be the cool 'auntie'. of course i'm that much cooler now that i've got the rats.

beets and chard thrive in the garden boat and any day now i will harvest the blue potatoes. i have a lot of catching up to do with foraging and gathering food for winter, though. if i was useless before, now all i do is stare at the rats being silly and adorable, even and especially when they sleep which is pretty much all day.

at last it has started to rain, and some mushrooms are emerging in the woods. i spotted some slime mold that had woken up and started to roam. they fascinate me endlessly. this one's called paranvoi, or the butter of para, a spirit that was said to steal the milk from cows, urged by a witch. it would drop or vomit this yellow substance when running away. similar folklore is known in other nordic countries as well.

there's been a lot of socialicing on my calendar this past week or so, and one such occasion led to my fostering the two furballs pictured above. the rats weren't by any means mistreated before, but their owner felt like she didn't have enough time to give them the attention they deserve and we made an arrangement for them to live with me for now. everyone wins. i haven't had pets for five years so it's a welcome change, having someone to fix dinners for and, of course, the company. we are still getting used to each other but i'm already very fond of them and they don't seem too upset about living with me, either. hopefully these feelings remain the same after tomorrow's task: bathing and mani/pedicuring them. oh dear.

i am wiped out by the hot, hot heat and have been even more useless than usual. the shop update i had planned for the end of july is clearly postponed. blueberries may rot in the woods for all i care (actually, that's not true, i do care a great deal but the weather is just too much for me). there seems to be no end for this in sight. so i'll stick to swimming and eating ice cream, thank you very much. and to the couch, quite literally.

they say it's a bad year for bilberries. this is how that looks like in my neck of the woods. we are having some crazy hot, sweltering summer days here, and i totally overdid myself today by picking up the basket and heading out to the forest. i figured it would be cooler there, in the shade. it was not.

i found a refreshing spot in the otherwise bone dry bog to sink my toes in. i swear you could hear the sizzling. i also heard a voice inside my hear claiming there would be cloudberries on the far side of the pine bog. i tried to resist, complaining about the heat but the voice insisted. and there they were. not many, but still. proof can be found on my instagram.

now i'm trying to rehydrate before going swimming. even though the bike ride is short, i know i'll be just as hot once back home. the thermometer that gets sunshine says 38°C and the one in the shade 28°C. at least the wind is picking up now... but there is not a single cloud in the sky.

you can tell it's been ridiculously hot when 25 degrees feels refreshing and and this morning's twenty was downright cool to the point of goosebumps. i'm kind of useless at these temps. i try to do some yard work before noon, but then i have to move indoors for the hotter hours. i thought it would be great for design work but lately i'm not very happy with what i make. i get ideas so brilliant they scare me, but i don't know if my plans are beyond my capabilities or if i'm just lacking confidence, in the end i don't actually make anything beyond sketches and scribbles in notebooks and bits of paper.

i've hit a big wall with the shop, didn't expect it so soon. i fell ill for a few days after first starting and haven't been able to pick up the enthusiasm since to produce anything worthwhile. my head is reeling with things to do but outside of my skull the reality is that none of my accumulated materials match these fancy plans. i just don't want to work with what i've got, which was supposed to be exactly the point. and once again i'm faced with the dilemma of no work space. there's nowhere to really spread everything out and get a feel of what might be possible.

i just don't know how other people juggle relationships and babies and jobs and gardening and animal husbandry and whatnot, when i struggle with the simplest chores every day. i've got nothing but time but somehow i manage to throw it all away all the livelong day.

this is the most beautiful insect i know, but i don't actually know what it is. i started noticing them around a few years ago, buzzing about in their bright, iridescent jewel colours. they seem quite harmless but i wouldn't be surprised if they were actually eating up the house or something. they seem to hang near old wood a lot.

our peonies are on their last legs but the martagon lily has arrived to rescue the flowerbed. we used to have loads but then one year i dug a lot of stuff up and they didn't appreciate being harassed, so only one remains in the bed and one grows sulkingly in the ditch by the gate. the finnish name is varjolilja, shadow lily, and they are very modest with their requirements. 'do not disturb' seems to be the only one.

gooseberries are getting freckles before blushing completely. they are still very sour but i can't resist taking a bite every once in a while. i think i'm going to try fermenting them raw, similar to japanese ume plums, just to see what happens. and to have something to blog about.

...not about to shoot anyone, though, just adventuring past the power lines in search of mushrooms. only one leccinum ended up in the basket but it was a perfect specimen, maggot free and spotless. wasn't in vain that i went, though: most of all i had a lot of fun!

all the feet of the tower were set in plastic canisters, assumably to deter moisture, but i sense a fault in this plan...

almost stepped on this toad in a hole! it was very patient with me but with toads you can never tell, they always look so stern and moody. this one didn't even blink when i shoved the camera in its face, several times... the invitation is still open for any toad to move into our garden. i might just kidnap the next baby one i come across, be warned... (i desperately need help in keeping the slugs at bay in the compost boat!)

here's the power line and all the wood that was cleared from the sides. they smell so nice, especially when warmed by the sun. it's funny to think that the same current runs through these lines and the electric cord of my laptop; they are connected in a way.